Office romance. Whether you’re imagining a heart-fluttering fling over the photocopier or navigating the very real prospect of a Zoom crush, it’s a topic that gets people talking—and for good reason. These relationships can be electric, complicated, exhilarating, and sometimes downright messy. But, as we discuss on Working On It, you simply can’t avoid them.
Think about it. You’re spending upwards of 40 hours a week with people who share your goals, frustrations, and, let’s face it, way too much caffeine. Of course, sparks are going to fly. But just because it happens doesn’t mean it’s easy to manage—especially when you throw in things like remote work, power dynamics, and the ever-present risk of becoming office gossip.
In our debut episode of Working On It, we (Lauren Spearman and Molly Johnson-Jones) unpack the complexities of office romance, from the statistics you didn’t know you needed to the personal stories we probably shouldn’t share—but we do, because we’ve all been there.
So grab a coffee, sit back, and let’s talk about love, power dynamics, and the wild world of workplace relationships.
The Office Romance Boom: Post-Pandemic Love in the Air
You’d think the pandemic, with its social distancing and mass exodus from the office, would have put a damper on workplace romance. But here’s the kicker: it’s done the exact opposite.
According to a 2022 study by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), a whopping 33% of U.S. workers were involved in an office romance. That’s up from 27% just six months prior. So what’s going on? Are we falling for each other over Zoom calls?
Lauren laughs, “I mean, how does that even work? You’re on mute half the time, the lighting’s bad, and you’re not exactly swooning when someone says, ‘Hold on, I’m just gonna share my screen.’”
But the truth is, despite remote work, people still crave connection—and what better place to find it than the environment where you spend most of your waking hours? It turns out, familiarity breeds more than just contempt; it also breeds romance.
Take our friend Olivia. In her team’s endless virtual happy hours during lockdown, she found herself messaging a colleague a bit more than necessary. Casual jokes turned into private chats, and soon enough, they were coordinating virtual backgrounds to match on their calls. It’s cute… until you realise that these relationships can come with risks. Especially when you're trying to navigate love through an online workplace.
The Benefits and the Risks of Mixing Business with Pleasure
Let’s be honest. There are some undeniable benefits to falling for someone at work. Molly chimes in, “You’ve already seen how they handle stress, how they deal with conflict, and how they work under pressure. Essentially, work is the ultimate compatibility test. Who needs dating apps when you’ve got the pressure cooker of office deadlines?”
The office environment forces people to interact beyond the superficialities of first dates and swiping right. You get to see people’s real personalities—warts and all. As a result, relationships that develop in the workplace can feel more organic, and yes, sometimes they even lead to marriage.
Lauren’s parents met at work—both employed at the Royal Mail. After months of working side by side at the post office counter, her mom finally said, “So, when are you going to ask me out?” It’s the kind of bold move we all dream of making but rarely do.
But for every cute love story, there’s a flip side. What happens when the romance fizzles? Or worse, what happens when one of you is the boss?
Molly and I agree that the risks are real—especially when it comes to power dynamics. We’ve all heard the classic tale: the older male boss and the younger female subordinate. In situations like this, the power imbalance can muddy the waters, turning what should be a mutual relationship into something a bit more sinister.
“Let’s Talk Power”
Molly brings up a critical point here: “The abuse of power dynamic in office romances can’t be ignored. Sure, some of these relationships are genuine, but you have to consider how easily things can turn from mutual attraction to coercion. Imagine if your boss starts flirting with you—it’s flattering, but is it really? Or are you just worried about how rejecting them will affect your job?”
It’s a tricky situation, one we’re seeing more of as women enter leadership roles and workplaces become more diverse. And it’s not just about romance. Inappropriate comments, too-long hugs, or “accidental” touches—all of these can blur the line between flirtation and harassment.
Lauren recalls a story from early in her career. “I had this boss—charming, successful, and totally inappropriate. He’d insist on standing too close in the elevator or make weird comments in meetings. Nothing I could pin down as ‘harassment,’ but enough to make me uncomfortable. I didn’t report it because, at the time, I didn’t even think of it as something you could report.”
And that’s the problem. Sometimes, these micro-aggressions fly under the radar. But over time, they build up, and suddenly, you’re in a situation where you’re second-guessing every interaction.
When Office Love Gets Messy
Now, not all workplace romances end in happily ever after. In fact, many end with awkward Monday meetings, side glances in the break room, and the inevitable HR involvement.
Consider this: 40% of employees have had some form of romantic or even illicit affair with a colleague, according to a 2023 Forbes article. That’s a staggering number, and it highlights just how common these relationships are. But what happens when things go wrong?
Molly recounts, “I once had a colleague who dated someone on a different team. It was all fine until they broke up. Suddenly, the entire office knew about their relationship, and meetings were incredibly tense. They ended up in different departments, and to be honest, it probably affected their careers more than they realised.”
The fallout from a workplace romance can be brutal. If you’re lucky, it just leads to awkward encounters at the coffee machine. But in more serious cases, it can lead to accusations of favouritism, bias, or even harassment.
And let’s not forget the ripple effect on your colleagues. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than watching two colleagues who clearly have history try to navigate a work project together. You can feel the tension a mile away.
The Case for Office Romance Policies
So, what’s the solution? Ban office relationships altogether? Absolutely not.
Molly and I are firm believers that you can’t—and shouldn’t—police love. But companies need to have clear guidelines in place to protect employees and create a culture of transparency. In fact, more companies are adopting office romance policies post-pandemic, and for good reason.
“Molly and I have both experienced what happens when there are no guidelines,” Lauren says. “It leads to confusion, misunderstandings, and, frankly, it puts everyone in a difficult position. You need a policy that encourages transparency—make it safe for people to disclose relationships without fear of retribution.”
It’s about being smart, not restrictive. Clear boundaries help protect both employees and the company, especially in cases where power dynamics are at play. It’s not about banning relationships but ensuring they don’t interfere with the work environment.
"My Golden Rule: Compartmentalize"
Molly offers her go-to advice: “If you’re in a workplace romance, the most important thing you can do is compartmentalise. Leave the personal drama at the door. It’s easier said than done, but if you can’t keep your personal life separate from your professional one, it’s going to create problems for everyone.”
And if things do go south? Be prepared to have a mature conversation about how you’ll continue working together. As we always say, “Be an adult about it.”
What’s Next on Working On It?
In the end, office romances are as old as offices themselves. You’re never going to stop them, but you can manage them. As we head back into the office, post-pandemic, with some of us spending more time in person again, we can expect workplace relationships to remain a hot topic.
And if you find yourself in the midst of one? Proceed with caution. Love at work can be wonderful, but it can also be messy, complicated, and potentially career-damaging. Keep your heart open but your head screwed on straight. That’s the Working On It way.
Next up on the pod, we’ll be diving into another juicy topic—getting fired. Whether you’ve been let go in a dramatic fashion or left with a whimper, we’ve got tips for how to bounce back and thrive. So stay tuned for some seriously relatable, real-world advice.
Got your own office romance stories? We’d love to hear them. Drop us a line at hello@workingonit.show or send us a message on Instagram or tiktok at @workingonit.pod
